Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Week 5 Pick'em results

So, another week has come and gone and as always, (for the second time) we have some scores in on the In The Now Pick'em.

Death Metal is the song of the week posting a 9-5 record. His most notable was picking against the pack with Arizona over Buffalo.

Second off was Team Bisonweb with an 8-6 mark. They wanted Miami but talked themselves out of it.

Tied once again, this time with a dubious 6-8 are teams elCliff and drKyle. Surprisingly, they have not come up with catchy team names and came in last. Coincidence? Probably. But who cares? On with the games!

First off, Team BisonWeb:

TEN @ BAL TEN The Titans really scare me. Joe Flacco might be the next big thing but those Titans are strong.[I was RIGHT! Who knew it would come down to Kerry Collins?]

KC @ CAR CAR Last week aside, KC is not very good. Carolina is.[No KFC this week!]

CHI @ DET CHI Taking the road team for the second time but Detroit doesn't have it this year (again). Chicago might not either but they've got more of it. Whatever it is.[Home team or not, Detroit is quickly becoming an embarrassment.]

ATL @ GB GB Home team, better team. I'm worried about Quarterback but their defense could win this game for them.[Wow. Was I ever wrong? Turner the Burner looks like he's for REAL!]

IND @ HOU HOU That's right, baby! Home team![I had it! Glory was in my grasp. But then I fumbled it in a flat spin.]

SD @ MIA SD Ridiculously, this is the hardest game for me to pick this week. I like the life the Dolphins are showing but there are too many weapons on SD's offense.[Nice to know that I was wrong but I was almost not so much wrong or something.]

SEA @ NYG NYG Home team, better team. I'm worried about Quarterback but their defense could win this game for them.[Why was I worried about quarterback? What is wrong with my brain?]

WAS @ PHI PHI They're close but Philadelphia is the home team.[Home field advantage, apparently, doesn't play as heavy as it used to.]
TB @ DEN DEN Cutler, Marshall and the new kid. This is a good team. They'll rebound from last week's embarrassment.[Not the way I thought it would play out, but it played.]

BUF @ ARI BUF Better team usually wins. No Boldin.[I... um... I think the better team won.]

CIN @ DAL DAL Better team, home team, what does Cincy have?[What does Cincy have? NOTHING! HAHAHAHAHA!]

NE @ SF NE My heart says that New England will win this one. SF doesn't have the weapons to expose NE's weaknesses on Defense.[When both teams struggle, go for the team with the better coach. Belli is better than Nolan.]


MIN @ NO NO Home team, better team.[Sometimes you just don't win.]

Next is Team elCliff:

TEN@BAL - Ravens. Tennessee's bound for a letdown at some point, and the Ravens defense is still healthy.[Healthy but crappy! letdown... pff]

KC@CAR - Panthers. The Chiefs got their one win for the year, and can return to hoping to possibly reach the heights of mediocrity from this point on.[Mediocrity? That's a bigger pipe dream than solar power.]

CHI@DET - Bears. I don't think they're that great, but the Lions' air carrier seems to have misplaced their defense, and it still hasn't been returned.[At least their uniforms are still clean or something. And nobody's gone through the drivethrough naked this year.]

ATL@GB - Packers. Atlanta's defensive backs would be challenged to consistently cover me.[Maybe you should make that call to Al Davis.]

IND@HOU - Colts. The Houston defense has shown me absolutely nothing this year to make me believe this won't be the Colts breakout game offensively.[Sure, if you call 21 points in 3.5 minutes offensive breakout... I just call it offensive.]

SD@MIA - Chargers. Miami WILL score against the once good Charger D, now that it's been rendered a eunuch by Ted Cottrell's pitiful play calling. However, the Chargers will demolish the Dolphins excuse for a D.[I wish I'd called this one otherwise. There's something about those Dolphins this year.]

SEA@NYG - Giants. The Seattle wideouts are finally coming back, but there's going to be some rust.[Coming back but still sucking, dropping passes and getting reinjured.]

WAS@PHI - Eagles. Close game, but the Skins are probably STILL boozing it up over their giant win last week.[Maybe they play better drunk.]

TB@DEN - Denver. The Broncos comes out angry, so does Jon Gruden. Unfortunately, while Denver PLAYS the games, Gruden just LOOKS at them and makes faces. That doesn't stop many plays.[Coach scowl can't be happy with playing his team's kind of game and losing.]

BUF@ARI - Buffalo. Anquan Boldin's still trying to find his head, and Kurt Warner is just a few more of those awful performances away from returning to stocking shelves at the Shop n' Save.[He apparently almost retired last week but changed his mind.]

CIN@DAL - Cowboys. By about 50. This is going to be about as fair a fight as that loan Chinese guy versus those tanks in Tiananmen Square.[Uneven, but not unfair. Unless you count the horrible Bengals "scouting" staff. "Hey, I've heard of that guy. Let's draft him!"]

NE@SF - Niners. The Niners defense is good. The Patriots is defense is good...unless you want your D to have any speed or playmaking ability, and their offense has fallen and can't get up.[They didn't fall. It was a cleverly-planned ruse by Bellicheck to trip up the niners. But I think some senator will start up an inquest to find out if pretending to fall is against the rules or the law.]

PIT@JAC - Jaguars. The Steelers had about 7 running backs get hurt against Baltimore. Najeh Davenport is good at taking dumps in the closets of coeds, not at running the ball.[Don't hamper his running-style! He likes dump passes.]

MIN@NO - Saints. Until the Vikings defense actually proves to be more than a one dimensional group of run stuffers, teams are going to throw all damn day on them.[Funny. The Vikings didn't run well, gave up two return touchdowns but still managed to win. Weirdo.]

Now for Team DrKyle:

TEN @ BAL: two balls are enough, go BAL[Ah, but you forgot the formula: Tennis ball. TEN IS BAL! So they don't only own them. They ARE them. There's no way the Ravens could have won.]

KC @ CAR: kick a car? nice KC[Ah, but the CAR KCed back.]

CHI @ DET: ok, I'll pick CHI just because I live here[I'm sure you're not the only Chicago resident who made that bet and is some glory (or some dollars) richer for no reason other than their proximity.]

ATL @ GB: mmmm.... grubs GB[Ah, but ATL ATE grubs. Sorry.]

IND @ HOU: indiana jones vs houdini... I think HOU[Except they pulled a disappearing act three and a half minutes too soon.]

SD @ MIA: Mama MIA![Once again, Kyle's spyglass picks an upset. Good job, Kyle.]

SEA @ NYG: i sea you nygga, talkin all badass... go NYG go[Racism, while not condoned by In The Now apparently works for Kyle.]

WAS @ PHI: i was phiiling so nice, yes I WAS[Good job again. Your PHIILING was right.]

TB @ DEN: go in da tub den, and get yerself clean, in da TB[I'd rather watch TV in the DEN.]

BUF @ ARI: getting BUFfer by the minute[Maybe they got caught with steroids, then.]

CIN @ DAL: CINDAreLla, a house favorite, CIN[Too bad it wasn't a slipper but a sanDAL.]

NE @ SF: north east versus south fest? that's not right... NE[NE-one could have picked that one.]

PIT @ JAC: it's the PITs[JAC's pass defense? Why yes, it is.]

MIN @ NO: minnows... swimming, NO?[You were our only hope for a winner on this one.]

Finally, The Disco Blog-o-rama's Team Death Metal:

TEN @ BAL: Baltimore, because they're at home. And their QB has an awesome name.[Amadeus, however, got rocked. No win for Falco.]

KC @ CAR: Oh Carolina. Kansas has Larry Johnson and...well, yeah.[Tony Gonzalez. But they still suck.]

CHI @ DET: Chicago. This is the Death Metal power chord lock of the week. I will give the Lions props for firing Matt Millen.[The Power Chord was on-key!]

ATL @ GB: Packers-Packers Atlanta has surprised me so far, but I don't think they can take the Packers at home (although the outcome of this game also depends on Rogers' health...hmm...).[Ryan ain't cryin' and I don't know if Rodgers's health was an issue.]

IND @ HOU: Indianapolis. No chance for the Texans, although I do like that...what's his name...Slaton? Yes. Good pick by the Texans there.[Thanks for the props about Slaton. He pushed my fantasy team over the top. But those Texans are just finding ways to lose. At least they're creative.]

SD @ MIA: San-dee. SD just has too much going for them.[Apparently, Pennington begs to differ. So do the Miami Defense.]

Loserville @ NYG: New York Football Giants. Loserville lives up to their name.[Loserville is not loverville. But they're definitely not fighterville either.]

WAS @ PHI: Philadelphia. Aiee! I detest picking NFC East matchups. Still, I gots ta go with the Eagles @ home.[Good call. NFCEast matchups are a bitch.]

TB @ DEN: Denver. Unless Brandon Marshall slips on a McDonald's bag before the game, Denver wins big.[Denver wins small. But they win anyway.]

BUF @ ARI: Arizona. Probably a dumb pick on my part.[Dumb. Dumb. Where do you get off being right on this one?]

CIN @ DAL: Dallas. No contest here.[There was a contest. Just a very, very, very lopsided one.]

NE @ SF: New England I think this game will be closer than most expect? Why do I think that? If only I knew.[I don't know. I was expecting a close game.]

PIT @ JAC: Pittsburgh. The Steelers are just plain better.[Ha! Take that, Cliff. Take that Del Rio! Plain better! HA!]

MIN @ NO: New Orleans. I have nothing good to say about the Vikings.[And they say "Sean can kiss our asses!" Their kicker got lots of points for me.]


El Cliff said...

What an awful week for picks. Blech. However, I believe my problem HAS been a lack of nickname. My team name should be glaringly obvious...the glory of TEAM MIASMA shall fly like a phoenix scorching the sky with it's magnificence!

team death metal said...

Hopefully Team Death Metal keeps things rolling.

Kyle said...

Team name? How about Kyle's Random Football Teams = KRaFT. Oh yeah, that's some cheezy macaroni.

Liam J. said...

Team Miasma and Team Kraftverk. Got it.