Monday, July 07, 2008


We've been through some good times and we've also seen our share of hard times. I won't kid you – some of those hard times are the happiest in my life. Lately, though, there's a lot that's been on my mind. I'll admit that I haven't been perfect. I don't know that my lack of perfection has been enough to justify the way you've been treating me.

It started last July. That's what I would call the end of the “Honeymoon Phase.” I went out of town and you told everyone you were thinking of breaking up with me. Oh sure, you took it all back and accused Susan of blabbing secrets you told to her but it definitely set the tone. That pushed Chris away. He even moved to Calgary to get away.

Then, in February, you canceled our favourite “Activity.” We'd been doing it for a year and a half and you just squashed it. (We were even getting pretty good at it) Sure, we've bounced around from one thing to another since then, and it seems like we've found new common ground but it seems like nothing will ever be better than that one special thing. And it really had the potential to be something.

Then you passive-aggresively drove away two of my friends. Gustavo and Wenpan noticed the cold shoulder you gave them and they left.

The latest thing, and the one that pushed me to write this, was that I went out of town again, and you told people that it was Marius or me. When I got back, I found you'd kicked Marius out.

I've done some research and I want to share a list with you:

Signs your relationship is failing:

  1. You look less forward to seeing each other. -- Have you noticed that I've started coming around a little later? Have you cared?

  2. You find it harder to focus on the needs of your partner. -- Have you noticed how soul-wrenchingly hard it has been for me to concentrate on things? How my mind has been wandering when you need my attention?

  3. Your devotion to your partner is less and your thoughts begin to stray to another. -- Yes, it's been good, but others have told me I'm a catch and I thought I would send out a letter gauging interest. Nothing has happened but there was definite interest on their part.

  4. You hang on to a reason to stay with your partner even if you're unhappy. -- It's the money. I've tried substituting the money for happiness. All that's made me is broke.

  5. The wrongs that your partner has done you dominate your thoughts and you keep coming back to them. -- This is the most pressing and telling of the signs listed, in my mind. I've tried being happy, laughing it off, even, shamefully, mocking you behind your back. None of that has worked.

Everything seems to point to a failed relationship and there are those who say I should just take the money and cut bait. But I don't want that, even if there are others out there who say they'd treat me better.

Father Roger once told me that love is a choice. Sure, it always starts out grand but once things become real, you have to choose to keep loving your partner in order to keep things going.

I'm not ready to give up on you, Intuit and I think that if we start choosing to treat each other better, things can be not only like they were before but better and we can stay together and laugh at all the people who thought we wouldn't last.

I'm not going anywhere, and I will see you tomorrow.

Ready to start over,



El Cliff said...

Love through a shared mocking of others...can there be a deeper form of affection?

Well, despite the fact it's completely out of character for me, considering my job history, I definitely encourage your employment loyalty, so long as it IS making you happy, and you're not just telling yourself that to get by. If things really are okay, then, definitely, stay where you're content. If they start trying to screw you over, though, get out of Dodge, and don't look back.

Well, okay, if you hear them crash and fall down, then CERTAINLY you should look back and mock them...aside from THAT, no looking back.

legion said...

That was fantastic, L. Funny and slightly twisted.

I've already given my opinion on the subject in general. Since you're staying, I assume you're happier there than not, which is a good thing.