Thursday, March 01, 2007

Daily Meditation 3/1/2007

Choose Feelings

If your days seem filled with unwanted negative feelings, there is only one cure. When they come, choose them. Don't ask why, don't wonder how, don't fight them and never put yourself down for having them. But most of all never blame someone else for how you feel. If you do, it means you are still fast asleep and your choice is to be a victim. When the feelings come, even big disturbing emotional feelings say, "I choose this feeling" and know it comes because of something you have thought or done in the past, perhaps a certain belief that you have learned or an attachment that is threatened. Choice does not mean you want the feelings, but it does mean you are taking responsibility for them. And that is the beginning of self mastery. It is the first step to the healing and resolving of your emotions. But only the first step. Try this today and then ask yourself what the next step might be. If you are really interested to know, you will come to know!

Taken from another website.


I like this way of looking at the world. It's an acknowledgment that what comes, comes. I'm not a big fan of beating myself up over what I can't change, despite the fact that I seem pretty good at it. I am in favour of taking responsibility for the way you feel, as opposed to blaming someone else. This reminds me of the phrase, "Accept it, then own it." If you take something that you're feeling and accept it as a genuine feeling, it's a heck of a lot easier to get to the root of what the problem is and work toward a resolution there.

This is a hard path, though. It's hard for me to accept my negativity and not blame myself for it. I spend a lot of time trying to please people and when I'm not in the mood for that, whether because I'm down or angry or whatever, I tend to blame myself and it ends up spiraling out of control. Generally, I'm pretty good at cutting the head off of this train of thought but it is a slippery slope.

I guess what I can take away from today's meditation is this: I will be mindful of how I act when I feel badly, both toward others and toward myself.

There are no questions to ponder on this site, which might be a good thing, I'm not sure.

I'll give this site another try tomorrow. Who knows? Maybe I'll just be a daily-meditation wanderer, scouring bits of wisdom off the web.

Kinda like Kung-fu, without the flipping, kicking and punching.

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El Cliff said...

Having scoped out this site, it seemed much less cloying than the other one. And I like that daily thought, actually...pretty compelling.

I also used to be someone who spent constant hours analyzing everything in my past to death, and driving myself mad. Eventually, you have to realize that you will NEVER find the answers you're looking for. Just accept things, and move along. Learn what there is to learn, and move. Don't stand still.

Actually, there's a fair bit of Samurai mindset in thinking like this. Focus on what you CAN change, and ignore what you cannot. You can change the future, you can't change the past. there's a lot more to it than that, but that's one of the...tenets, I suppose you could say. After doing a lot of reading on Samurai culture, which I find quite interesting, I've tried to mould my way of looking at things a little more in line with the way they looked at things (you know, minus the archery, and self-disembowelment for honour). It's a much...cleaner (for lack of better word) way of looking at things.

I dunno, for me, part of the reason I rant on occasion is to have a sort of 'negativity blowout'. But if it recurs, there probably is a reason for it. Might not be a bad idea to find it...or, you know, you could just enjoy that fun ulcer.

Shiny Beamer said...

this is new thinking for me. i have always had the impression that when negative thoughts or feelings come, i should push them away. i have never thought of accepting them and owning them. i will have to think about this some more before i can decide if i agree.

Liam J. said...

My thoughts on ... well... your thoughts, SB. At least from my point of view:

Requiring myself only to feel positive things, beating myself up anytime I feel negatively about something, that is just setting myself up for a downward spiral of negativity. Sure, a one-time negative thought can be swept aside but if the cause for it is something deeper that causes this negativity to recur, I will simply think worse of myself for not being able to throw this away too. Then I will feel negatively about myself, beat myself up for that and just keep feeling worse.
On the other hand, if I can accept that I don't have to be happy all the time, understand that I'm suffering through something and work through it honestly, knowing what I'm feeling is real, I'm more likely to hold on to myself and recover to the happy sunshiney person you all know.

Denial of negativity is one of those dark roads that leads to a few dark places. One of which is addiction (which, to pay homage to my brother, is why they call Alcoholism Denial of Reality.)

Shiny Beamer said...

oh my word. you have just described my life. you scare me. how did you DO that?!?!

seriously, I think I agree with you as I really have experienced this. I have always tried to force myself to be happy even when I was miserable. And it's caused a whole world of trouble for me. I am in the state right now of learning to accept myself. I think it's going to be a long road but hopefully I will reach the end in a good way.

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