Self-Checkout

Okay, I'm usually a pretty reasonable guy. I get along with people pretty well and I try to go along with whatever. However.

The time is 10:15pm. There is not one other person in line at the Save On Foods. Why, do you suppose, a guy would take his groceries to the Self-Checkout lane? Could it be to bypass the milling throngs clogging the standard checkouts? No? Could it be because he just wants to make his purchases and get the hell out of the store because he's in an unsocial mood? Hm... Nah, this must be someone who needs a lot of extra attention.

Honestly, that must have been going through the Self-Checkout clerk's mind as I strolled up because she hovered. And she wouldn't take a hint. While I was pushing the lookup produce button, she told me to push it. Then she helped me find the pesky T button (for tomatoes). Good thing. I've been struggling with those pesky alphabetized letters since '07.

She was trying to help me to make room in my cart for bags while I was trying to shoo her away. Then one of the bags I was filling with groceries disappeared from the filling area. I looked over my shoulder and she was putting it in the cart, with me holding a grocerous item, with no bag to put it in. So I bore it. I was the stone at the bottom of the river, allowing the water to flow over it.

Is it wrong of me to be so annoyed at a person who could not take a hint and apparently didn't think I could find the letter 't' without her help?

200

We've been through some good times and we've also seen our share of hard times. I won't kid you – some of those hard times are the happiest in my life. Lately, though, there's a lot that's been on my mind. I'll admit that I haven't been perfect. I don't know that my lack of perfection has been enough to justify the way you've been treating me.

It started last July. That's what I would call the end of the “Honeymoon Phase.” I went out of town and you told everyone you were thinking of breaking up with me. Oh sure, you took it all back and accused Susan of blabbing secrets you told to her but it definitely set the tone. That pushed Chris away. He even moved to Calgary to get away.

Then, in February, you canceled our favourite “Activity.” We'd been doing it for a year and a half and you just squashed it. (We were even getting pretty good at it) Sure, we've bounced around from one thing to another since then, and it seems like we've found new common ground but it seems like nothing will ever be better than that one special thing. And it really had the potential to be something.

Then you passive-aggresively drove away two of my friends. Gustavo and Wenpan noticed the cold shoulder you gave them and they left.

The latest thing, and the one that pushed me to write this, was that I went out of town again, and you told people that it was Marius or me. When I got back, I found you'd kicked Marius out.

I've done some research and I want to share a list with you:

Signs your relationship is failing:

1. You look less forward to seeing each other. -- Have you noticed that I've started coming around a little later? Have you cared?

2. You find it harder to focus on the needs of your partner. -- Have you noticed how soul-wrenchingly hard it has been for me to concentrate on things? How my mind has been wandering when you need my attention?

3. Your devotion to your partner is less and your thoughts begin to stray to another. -- Yes, it's been good, but others have told me I'm a catch and I thought I would send out a letter gauging interest. Nothing has happened but there was definite interest on their part.

4. You hang on to a reason to stay with your partner even if you're unhappy. -- It's the money. I've tried substituting the money for happiness. All that's made me is broke.

5. The wrongs that your partner has done you dominate your thoughts and you keep coming back to them. -- This is the most pressing and telling of the signs listed, in my mind. I've tried being happy, laughing it off, even, shamefully, mocking you behind your back. None of that has worked.

Everything seems to point to a failed relationship and there are those who say I should just take the money and cut bait. But I don't want that, even if there are others out there who say they'd treat me better.

Father Roger once told me that love is a choice. Sure, it always starts out grand but once things become real, you have to choose to keep loving your partner in order to keep things going.

I'm not ready to give up on you, Intuit and I think that if we start choosing to treat each other better, things can be not only like they were before but better and we can stay together and laugh at all the people who thought we wouldn't last.

I'm not going anywhere, and I will see you tomorrow.

Ready to start over,

Liam

Historical Edmonton Radio musings

Doing the dishes.

Not enough sleep.

Surly as all git-out.

What comes on the radio? "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina and the Waves. The most overrated song in the history of the 80s.

I'm suddenly transported back in time to even before I had the mullet. 630 CHED morning crew.

"Well, we've tallied your votes on 'Make it or Break it' and it doesn't look good for Katrina and her waves. 20 votes to 1 that that song breaks it." I don't remember the DJ, whether it was Rob Christie (before his loudmouth blowhard stage at Magic 99) or someone before him (Bruce Bowie maybe?) but I remember that session of Make it or break it better than I remember probably 90% of University. Very clearly.

Why couldn't we have been right, Edmonton? Now I've got some stupid song stuck in my head and feeling a Rob-Christie rant coming on.

My biggest problem with Magic 99 is not that their DJs are blowhards. It's impossible to find a radio station without a blow-hard. It's their insistence that they're different. Better. Don't spoon-feed me that bullshit. Just because you act better and fill your between-songs time with name-dropping anecdotes that are exactly the same each and every time the same goddamn song comes on does not mean that you're better than the others. You have a wonderful variety of songs that you could play. You barely touch them. Instead of some simpering weenie singing about how I'm beautiful or lamenting my bad day, reach back. Pull more Bobby Darrin or (God forbid) Mel Torme off the shelves. Instead of pretending the only artist back in the day was Frank Sinatra, blow the dust off some Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald or even some modern-ish swing. Yeah, I like Michael Buble and Diana Krall but mix it up. Give me some Big Bad Voodoo Daddy or Big Rude Jake. Throw some themed shows into some time slots. Learn a lesson from CKUA. Pick a prime-time hour and play all old stuff. Pick a weekend hour and do some small-label stuff. They've done wonders for local artists like Sandy Foster and Ann Vriend but it would be really nice to take it to the next level.

My other gripe with Magic is their "we're just folks" attitude. Just because I like listening to old standards and swing music doesn't mean that I give a crap about Mercedes or winging my way down to the sunny Caribbean. I certainly am not for going in for a Botox injection to get rid of the wrinkles on my face. Or liposuction for my gluteus-assimus. Don't try to cozy up to me and talk about how we all want this or how everybody knows that.

I'm out of steam.

Can You See the Look in Their Eyes? - or – Bureaucracy Killed My Baby

That look in a business’s eyes when faced with the prospect of mediocrity or worse, irrelevance? The massive layoffs, the mergers, the new wacky ideas that seem to fall just short? Almost like they were pushed out before they were ready?

Business. Money. These two things are inextricably linked. Business wants money. Money flows toward successful business.

Lately, the most money has flowed toward businesses that live innovation. Successful innovation leads to rapid growth. Rapid growth, handled properly, leads to money.

Two perfect examples of this: Google and Apple.

When you think of the two biggest innovation companies, that is where you land. Google and Apple have done things exactly right over the past five years. They’ve clawed their market shares out by out-thinking, out-creating and out-pacing the bigger guys (or the former bigger guys, anyway).

Intuit has decided they want to innovate. They want to learn and grow and become creators of beautiful and good things and these will lead to increased growth and more money.

The problem is, everyone wants to be innovative and create wonderful great things that increase growth and bring in money.

When you see a company do wonderful things and then you see people who are coming late to the party, copying the things that the great company does (maybe not as far as them) and adopt the same mindsets as them (maybe not as zealously, though) you can smell the stink of fear.

When we got together for the Brad Smith speech about rapid growth and innovation, I thought I would smell that stink, see the fear in the eyes of an archaic machine that fears that it is perceived to have outlived its usefulness. However, the more he talked, the more it made sense to me. Intuit already does so many things so well (good clean processes, good products that are easy to use and that help with a need that is both under-served and critical to people). The importance of innovation at Intuit isn’t the creation of a music player or the opening of the world’s eyes to the greatness of online collaboration, free software and a culture that is all about sharing content, creativity and community (which I believe is Google’s greatest contribution to the world). Intuit’s need for innovation surrounds a new content delivery system. We already do great things to help people with finances, taxes and book-keeping. But the things we do well are outdated.

Quicken does a great job of helping manage personal finances. It is wonderful for that. But it is also limited. In the world where computers are connected to the internet 24 hours per day, how can Quicken not automate paying bills online?

Quickbooks does good things with bookkeeping for medium-to-small businesses but it doesn’t go far enough, either in communities or automation of tasks, communication or interface.

There are so many new areas where Intuit can go. Online banking is a big growth opportunity, which saw Intuit purchase DI. The big bosses believed in this idea so much that they invested more than a billion dollars.

I have since been transferred to DI along with our online banking project. The project has changed throughout the past nine months and the decisions made by senior management have baffled me since June or July. The project was looking to be cut in the summer and only a reaction to external changes (see that look in their eyes? Fear. Reactionary fear.) kept us afloat. Recently, other changes have led to the termination of our codebase and a switch to other opportunities. (I hate being vague but I have no choice.) The reason we were cut? We’re not in the market.

I beg to differ.

Our program has been through a V1 in November of 2006, ready to go. Our program had a 1.5 (which they were going to call 1.0) in May/June of 2007. Our program was ready to release a beta of 2.0 (which they probably still would have called 1.0) by end-of-March 2008. Our program would have had a 3.0 (maybe 1.5) by end-of-July 2008. We were ready. The platform that would have integrated with our software, however, was not ready. We were in the market. We were ready for prime time. We were held back.

Process-heavy departments of the company halted integration with red-tape, unnecessary delays and issues that should not have been issues. In the end, Bureaucracy killed our baby.

Brad Smith told a beautiful story about how departments would adopt other departments’ processes, the ones that worked the best. I felt heartened (not for the dead baby that was our project but for the future). I felt encouraged. The new logo and mindset were not just fluff. We can build a future, I believe it.

Then the meeting afterward left me deflated and miserable. The word from the top? “Nothing will change.”

While it was just sad to hear the rote, expected things from our internal leadership, I believe that things will have to change. Our upper levels seem to change fairly frequently, and I have enough faith in the top boss that if things aren’t going his way he will not hesitate to make necessary changes.

What will force a change? Look into their eyes. That will tell you.

Okay, so maybe I'm still a little angry

I had believed I had achieved a state of Zen when it came to my laptop, the people at Gateway and the state of all things Tablet.

Turns out I'm not so Zen.

I unsubscribed to a mailing list that I found myself on promoting Gateway products. No problem. Then I went back to whatever task I was performing at the moment.

Some time later (a few moments ago) I saw the stupid Cow-Cube that Gateway is famous for. ANGER! I wanted to send off the email that I've been crafting since November. It's not something I'll ever send - it's just a chronicle of my experiences, profanity-laced, with capslock all over the place. It is not the kind of writing I'm proud of by any stretch of the imagination and it would likely have Dylan, Sean and whoever from Lethbridge reminiscing over the whole "THIS IS SO F#CKING STUPID" from first-year university.

I had put that letter away, with the intention of reading over it a couple of months, maybe years, down the road and laughing over it. Nope. I added to it. Then I deleted it. Stupid thing.

Confessor – Or – Terry Goodkind Is Smarter Than You And He Wants You To Know It

I wanted to like Confessor by Terry Goodkind. I really did. I loved Wizard's First Rule, Stone of Tears, Soul of the Fire and Faith of the Fallen. Blood of the Fold and Temple of the Winds were okay too but not as good. Pillars of Creation was good for what it was.

The last four books in the Sword of Truth series, Naked Empire, Chainfire, Phantom and finally Confessor were bad books. I don't mean they were bad books compared to his other ones (which, obviously, they were) but bad books all by themselves.

The worst part is that the story was still really strong. Goodkind set up a good world with good characters and put them in compelling situations. And he still writes action very, very well. And he has neat ideas that I haven't read in fantasy before. That's the part that kept me coming back.

The problem I have with the last four books is that what Goodkind writes about is directly contradicted by the way he writes it.

"Think for yourself" "Use reason" "don't listen to people trying to persuade you, think it out for yourself". While he doesn't necessarily use these words, these are his stances. I doubt that he'd argue with that himself.

He contradicts "Think for yourself" by spelling out every last detail several times. I like to think that I'm smart and well-read enough to reason out that if Jagang yells at Nicci for making him mad enough to hit her, that he thinks it's her fault. I don't need to be told it multiple times in a book, let alone a chapter, let alone a paragraph. I like to think I have enough capacity as a human being to see that Jagang telling Nicci how much he wants to have sex with her is his way of trying to tell her he loves her in his own warped way. I don't need to be told it multiple times in a book, let alone a chapter, let alone a page. Goodkind gives absolutely no room for a reader to think about what something means because he has already driven the point into the ground. These points lose their effectiveness because he has to explain them over and over again. See, impact is lost when there is over-analysis. That's because the action fades in the reader's mind due to the passage of time it takes to read the excessive explanation as well as the breaking of the spell that should be narrative. Have I made myself clear enough? Because I could explain it some more.

He violates the whole "Don't listen to people trying to persuade you on things" by using the last what, five? Ten? pages to basically decry religion. You would think that someone who was so into people reasoning things out for themselves would leave it to you to come up with your own conclusions. But no, if you believe there's more beyond this life, that sin exists and that you should hold yourself back from sin to enjoy eternity in heaven, that you hate life, reject reason and deserve to be removed from his world. I don't know what to believe where a higher power is concerned. Generally, I don't concern myself with those thoughts. To me, they're unproductive and I prefer my unproductive thoughts to be about football. I certainly don't think, however, that people who have faith in something they can't prove are doing so because they hate life. The point is, Goodkind is shouting this from the highest rooftop, trying to persuade you that he's right. Isn't that against one of the core themes of his book?

My first guess as to why the quality in his writing fell so far is lack of editorial control. Either Terry Goodkind got enough "juice" so to speak that he no longer had to go through an editor or the guys with the blue pen were intimidated and unwilling to cut into the sermon on the mountain. Or possibly they just thought that it would sell well regardless of what was in it. I don't like to think that the publishing world works any of these ways and I don't like to think that someone who wants to put the best story that they can out there would be willing to do that. However, I have come to the conclusion that Terry Goodkind was not interested in putting the best story that he could out there.

What I believe is that Goodkind wanted to get his message out there so badly when he realized that he had multitudes of fans, that he was no longer worried about the story. This was about what he wanted to say to the world. My opinion is that when you are a writer, you have a responsibility to the story before anything you owe your world view or your agenda. Terry Goodkind couldn’t get out of his own way and his ideals cluttered up what was otherwise an exciting, compelling story.

It's too bad, too. I don't know what Goodkind's goals are, when it comes to being an author but he could have been the guy who changed the face of Fantasy if he weren't trying so hard to be the guy who changed the face of Fantasy, if you know what I mean.

That said, I won't read any more that he writes. It's too much to get into a compelling story just to have it murdered by a hack of a writer whose ego is more important to him than the story is.

Local Election

First off: I hate elections. Not because it's democracy in action. Not because I hate freedom. Not because I'm some communist pinko who just wants to be told what to think.

I hate elections because of the visual pollution every three metres down the side of every road in my neighbourhood.

I'm sorry Amarjeet Sohi, blah-blah McKenna, Stephen Mandel. There are others. I don't remember them now but I'll remember when I see them on the ballot. I saw your signs. I don't like your signs. So I'm not voting for you.

I have a little more respect for Sohi than I do for others. He's out on 50th street on the median, waving, pumping his fist in the air at passing motorists. It's a little weird, I have to say. Is it an attempt to say "I don't have to work! I can take the time to greet you on your way to your daily drudgery! Vote for me and I'll use this time productively! Maybe!"

What I would like to see: Some minor politician campaigning by improving my life. Wanna be a city councillor? Fill some of those potholes that knock the hubcaps off of my wheels. Want to clean up the city? Start with the broken beer/malt-liquor bottles on every single corner in Millwoods. If you're already in the middle of the road, Amarjeet, you could spend some time and pick up the garbage there, with your little buddy holding up your sign and pointing at you instead of bragging about your lack of anything better to do.

I just hope they clean up their signs after the election.

In the news

Ottawa man fined for promoting hatred

I don't normally spend a lot of time reading the news or listening to the news or watching the news because it just riles me up. Watching is the worst because the anchors seem to be able to throw a story out there about four Canadian soldiers who won't be coming home and then switch to the dog show coming up this weekend. It just doesn't work for me.

However, this one just kind of jumped out at me.

Some idiot, living in his grampa's basement, decided to start the Canadian Nazi party and started a website about it, talking about how non-white people should be exterminated. The Human Rights Tribunal got wind of it and

1. ordered him to stop spreading hatred
   
2. turned off his website
3. fined him 4000 dollars.

Fortunately, it looks like nobody actually took him seriously. The messages posted on his website appeared to be all from him. Still, the things that the tribunal would allow the press to print were disgusting enough. I don't want to think about what they kept quiet.

When notice of the hearing was delivered to this moron, he hid in his house and wouldn't answer the door. What happened to being "in the right" and "fighting for what you believe in"? Apparently, he doesn't believe as strongly in his cause as his website would have us believe.

Also, when the journalist tried to reach him for comment, he couldn't get ahold of the guy. So apparently he's not only an idiot but a coward.

What ever happened to the amusing redneck idiot who would spout off on some daytime talkshow so that Geraldo could break a chair on his head? Now we've got these morons skulking in the shadows, talking about how they're stronger and better? Gimme a freaking break.

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The Failed Facebook Experiment - or - I was gone, but now I'm back.

I will admit it: I've spent too much time on Facebook. But I've had it. I wasn't getting any social networking done, just browsing people's profiles to see what was new with them.

My one attempt at social networking fell on its face, leaving me with my desire to play hockey intact and ashes in my mouth regarding Facebook.

Still, I persevered, I put in my time, but I kept getting added by people I barely knew and others who I didn't really like. I didn't mind it when Facebook was a dozen or so friends who were still relevant in my life but it ballooned out of control so I would log in, look at some groups, look at some people and log out. I wasn't contributing, I wasn't creating, I was just wasting time.

Instead, I'm going to waste time here, putting posts up on my blog like I should have been doing all along.

After all, I've read 16 books this year and I think I'm shy 14 write-ups. I just hope I can remember what happened in what book.

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I knew it put it somewhere!

And here it is.

I had meant to put an Anno-versary post on In The Now but it knew better and snuck onto my technical blog.

Stupid performancing, mucking with my posts. Thinking (or knowing) it knows better than I do.

And quit mucking with my formatting. YOU MAKE NO SENSE!

Carr out Schaub in

When David Carr was selected Number One overall, my first thought was 'Who?'. My second was of immediate disappointment because I had either wanted Julius Peppers or (to my shame) Joey Harrington. In my defense, the only college game that I watched the year previous had been a game where Harrington took the Ducks on a last-minute drive to beat the opposition. I'm sure Dylan, being a Lions fan (Harrington's eventual destination), could tell you who he beat. We watched the game together, enrapt by Harrington's control over the offense, hitting receivers short and intermediate. There were no desperation throws. There was no hurry. Just a man who knew the business of moving the ball down the field. Well, most of us know how that one turned out. Harrington was moved out Detroit last year for a paltry 5th or 6th round pick. He played reasonably uncrappily for the Dolphins but they decided that they would take their chances with Daunte Culpepper's ailing knee and the stellar force known as Cleo Lemon. (More on the Dolphins further down).

Regardless, Carr was the horse they put their money on, so it was Carr for whom I would cheer when the regular season came around. I would have no choice, since they put him in as the starter immediately. Oh, the amazing power of hind-sight. (More on hind-sight, later)

Carr's first game in the regular season as a Texan was an amazing victory over the cross-state rival Cowboys. Two touchdowns (one to Cory C.S. Bradford and the other to Billy Miller) and the team was undefeated in its history (in the regular season).

The next week, the Texans came back down to Earth as San Diego pummeled them, registering, I believe, eight sacks. My question at this point was, what in the hell was Carr doing in the game after the FOURTH sack? But that question will forever remain unanswered.

Throughout the years, sacks would be something to which Carr would be no stranger. In fact, over his five years in Houston, Carr was sacked 249 times. I believe (and I don't think it's a stretch to believe) that this is a record over five years. Houston broke the record for sacks allowed in their inaugural season and then would have tied or broken it again in 2005 if 2002's sacks allowed hadn't been so prolific.

Last week, David Carr was released from the Houston Texans after they spent a second round pick this year, a second round pick next year and swapped first round picks with the Atlanta Falcons for quarterback Matt Schaub.

The price for Schaub, at first glance, seems pretty steep. It is my contention, however, that the trade is not as baffling as I had originally thought. Here's why:

According to the Jimmy Johnson Trade-Value Chart, the second this year, the second next year and the move from 8 to 10 is worth the equivalent of a first-round pick in the neighbourhood of 15-20. It is my contention that the Texans had planned on using their first-round pick on Brady Quinn, he of the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. They may have gotten some indication that Quinn would be picked by someone ahead of them and so decided that they needed to go in another direction. They brought in Patrick Ramsey and Jeff Garcia and Jake Plummer has never been far from the minds of those who know that Kubiak reformed Jake Plummer and that Plummer struggled (sucked) without his O.C. last year in Denver. None of these people became Texans, so the thought was that if they didn't draft a quarterback, David Carr would be the starter next year. So, they didn't use the #8 overall to pick a quarterback, they used the equivalent of the #15-20 overall and they still have a top-ten pick in this year's draft.

“But Liam,” you say, “2 second rounders for a quarterback that isn't proven is a little steep.” I'll agree with that, keeping in mind that the Raiders spent a 2nd on Marques Tuiasosopo and then another on Andrew Walter. The San Diego Chargers spent a second rounder on Drew Brees only to pick up Philip Rivers with the #5 overall (kind of... they had #1 and traded Manning away for Rivers and a boat-load of picks) a couple of years later. And Washington who spent a #1 on Patrick Ramsey and then another #1 on Jason Campbell.

Sure, quarterbacks fall out of trees for some teams (Green Bay, San Francisco, New England...) but the search for a Franchise Quarterback is one that has lost many coaches and personnel men their jobs.

Another point is this: You can think of this trade as trading up to #15 overall and picking Schaub in the draft. Except that he doesn't have to sit down at all. Like Kellen Clemens last year, Schaub, in his last year in college was injured, which dropped his stock to the third round. Granted, Clemens only fell to the second but the point is the same.

“What about all the picks?” Well, if we traded up to pick Schaub, who's to say we can't trade down from #10 to, say, 20-25, pick up an extra second and use our first-rounder to get Ryan Kalil, the best centre prospect in the draft? And then use the second in the same general way we would have used our original #2? Sure, the #2 next year chafes, and the draft is going to be boring between 1(10) and 3(9) but the excitement that this has generated over the past week is just astounding.

In the end, a member of the Houston Texans message board said it in a way that made the most sense to me. “Gary Kubiak should get to coach his guy. He pretty much got stuck with Carr last year and now that they're admitting that mistake (which Bob McNair, owner of the Houston Texans did at the Schaub press-conference), Kubiak should be allowed to choose the guy rather than picking cast-offs up from the scrap-heap.” I don't remember exactly how he said it but it was along those lines.

“But Liam,” you say, “The Texans should have traded Carr last year and used the #1 overall on Vince Young, the hometown boy!” The Texans could not have traded Carr without first extending his contract the way they did. This is the same contract that made the returns for him minimal, at best. Kubiak, in his job interview, told Bob McNair, owner of the Houston Texans, that he believed Carr could get a team to the Superbowl. Not a bold statement, since the not-so-dynamic duo of Tony Banks and Trent Dilfer managed to do the same thing for Baltimore. (I'm not comparing the Texans to the Ravens. Just that Carr could probably have gotten THAT team to the Superbowl.) Kubiak probably wouldn't have gotten the job without answering that question that way so I can understand why he would have held on to Carr.

So, David Carr was released outright. That doesn't necessarily mean that there were no trade offers. What it does mean is one of three things, in my mind: 1) The return for Carr wasn't enough to justify pushing all of his pro-rated bonus into this year, 2) Carr wouldn't restructure his contract to go to any of the teams the Texans were interested in trading with or 3) McNair decided that Carr should be released so that he could pick his own team, as a way of saying “I'm sorry we didn't protect you”, “I'm sorry the team sucked” or “I'm sorry for the offensive coordinators you had in your first four years.”

I'm inclined to believe the third point. It was stated that Carr asked to be released and that wish was granted.

Where will Carr go? I'm not really sure. The Dolphins could be a possible landing-spot, with their concerns over Culpepper's knee (and his general ineffectiveness), the departure of Joey Harrington and the fact that Cleo Lemon is the guy waiting in the wings. Oakland has been a hot possibility as well, since signing Carr could potentially free them up to draft WR Calvin Johnson who is widely-regarded as the best prospect in this draft (and narrowly-regarded as the best WR prospect ever out of college). If Kansas City trades (or releases) Trent Green, Carr might be welcome there to hold the spot for awhile. I'd be interested to see what he could do with Larry Johnson, Tony Gonzalez and company, especially with that massive offensive line in front of him. (It's sad to think that they have Willie Roaf – a guy who was removed from the expansion draft list while Tony Boselli was allowed on there and never played a single down for the Texans.)

I'll watch Carr's career with special interest. He was with the Texans before they turned the corner, he took a severe beating at the hands of opposing defenses and the only time he ever missed was three or four games in 2003 (I think) when he hurt his ankle. He kept bouncing back up after sacks, never threw any teammates under the bus (that I can think of) and he maintained his class even through the days where it was apparent he was no longer in the Texans' plans. I would ask how you could cheer against a guy like that but there are far too many people on the Texans Message Board who have shown me exactly how.

I'm okay with the release of Carr because of two very telling things.

1) Over the last 10 games of the season (that's TEN), Carr threw as many illegal forward passes (2) as touchdowns (2).

2) Carr's release shows that poor performance will lead to replacement. I didn't see this kind of culpability the entire time that Dom Capers was the coach of the Texans and I sure didn't see it during this past season. This shows me that the franchise no longer views itself as an expansion franchise. It's easy to say “Well, just let Carr play and see how he develops” until the fans are sick of the team and stop showing up to games (this hasn't happened yet) but to say, “David, you just didn't play well enough last year. We need to replace you.” That's telling about how I expect this team to be run from now on. No more baby-steps. Get an NFL-ready quarterback, start him from day-one and take this 6-10 team and keep making strides. No more negative-passing-yard days, no more “Well, if Boselli had actually played” and certainly no more “this team doesn't have enough weapons.”

That last one is going to be a hard one for me to get past. I have to realize that the Texans signed Ahman Green, re-signed Ron Dayne and Andre Johnson and have a fantastic young tight end in Owen Daniels, all of whom are ready to break out. Daniels had an incredible opening to last season. I don't know if he got hurt last year but when I looked last, he was ahead of Vernon Davis and all the other tight ends who were taken ahead of him. Another offensive play-maker I want to keep an eye on is Chris Taylor. All I heard coming into the season last year was how well he'd played in training camp and pre-season and that all they needed to do was to give him a chance. Well, he got that chance against Cleveland and he made the most of it, going over one-hundred yards. I can't wait to see how well he does with increased touches. (If he gets them)

I would love for the Texans to trade back in the draft, pick up Ryan Kalil and a second-rounder which they would then use on either a wide receiver to complement Andre Johnson or a free safety to render C. C. Brown redundant. Then they could address the other one with the third round pick they still have. All the other positions will do okay, I think. Defensive tackle is a little thin and I wouldn't mind a pass-rusher to take some of the heat away from Williams. But that's all want. We need a centre (Flanagan was NOT the answer), a WR and a free safety.

So, this Carr is Gone post has turned into a State of the Texans Address, apparently. I can live with that.

Ran-tastic

A rant.

Not entirely language or age appropriate.

Enjoy.

HEY MORON, SLOW DOWN!

Days like yesterday make me truly question just how much reasoning end decision-making it takes lo survive long enough to get a driver's license.

It's not often that I'll go off on an insanely-angry rant. Granted, there have been some, end from time to time, they've been real doozies. Still, it's far from the norm.

However, the mess that I saw on the roads yesterday needs to be addressed. I mean, honestly, how have they made it this far into winter?

For those uneducated in the ways of writer, it goes like this - it snows, it warms up, melting the snow, then it cools down, freezing the water into ice. Then, snow falls, coating the ice with a skiff of snow. Further driving polishes the ice, making traction
a precious commodity, at best.

You might think that I wouldn't have to explain this but it is the internet and there are people who haven't experienced snowfall before. Also, I feel that I need to be extra-explicit for those drivers who have spent countless winters in Edmonton end JUST DON'T GET IT!
Days like yesterday, where the roads are treacherous and visibility is poor are not the right times to try that cool driving stunt you just saw on Youtube. Conditions like last night are not the right place for impatience, reckless hurrying or
this inane sense of entitlement you get from driving your brand-new Lexus, Just because your car is nicer doesn't mean that your desire for expediency supersedes my right-of-way. Back of the bus, Gus. And SUV-boy, this is reality, not Pole Position. Swervy-swervy doesn't go over so well with those of us whose vehicles weren't designed by the military. Pick the lane you need and stay there. Please.

See? I can be polite.

I'll get you AXLEERRRRRRR!

Thanks a lot, Axler.

Broken tablet, broken heart

The very day that I started looking into some of the things that people are doing with Tablet PCs (some of the more interesting are meeting note-taking, signing faxes, various art projects and photo-manipulation), I got a horrible phone call from my wife, telling me that the computer would not start up.

I got home that night and discovered, to my horror, that the tablet would not load a sys file. Not too worrisome. I have tech support, I have several avenues for system restore, and I have a wealth of knowledge, both on the internet and in my head for file-recovery.

I called tech support and after trying some things, we discovered that the only possibility was a destructive restore. I mentally shrugged, being a veteran of computer holocausts* and just wanting the computer to work so I could start getting into some of the things I'd researched.

*holocaust - a sacrifice completely consumed by fire; burnt offering.

The next day, compiling- and deploying-time (really quite a bit of my time is spent waiting for the changes that I've made to compile and deploy on a web server -- take, for instance, this blog-entry -- it was made during various compile-and-deploy sessions) was spent pulling files off of the tablet with the use of a knoppix live-Linux CD, onto my USB Flash Drive and onto the work computer. These are burned onto a CD. I managed to recover about 85% of my wanted files, pretty good for a kaputz hard drive.

Then came the challenge of restoring the computer. I started off with the restore CDs that shipped with the computer, but they failed. They could not see the hard drive. Then I tried with an MSDN copy of Windows XP Tablet edition. That didn't work either, for the same reason. Then I tried a Win 98 startup CD. I used this, and created an appropriate partition on the hard drive. Then I went to format the drive. 28 hours later, the computer was still trying to recover lost allocation units, leading me to the conclusion that the hard drive is irretrievably broken.

Fortunately, I have warranty, and Gateway is sending a coffin with which I may ship the carcass of my dead computer back to them. They will revive it with Frankensteinian precision, and ship it back to me, similarly free-of-charge and I will once again have a computer that accepts penly input.

God, I miss that machine. (Cinderella's You Don't Know What You've Got 'Til It's Gone plays in the background)

Next up: the 100th post spectacular in which I revisit my posts. A self-serving, narcissistic look at the past year and a half.

Week 3 With no Rose-Coloured Glasses

Optimism was high as David Carr drove the team down to an early score. However, Washington drove right back and tied it up. I wondered how the team would respond.

Now I know.

I’ve put off writing this until Thursday, because I honestly didn’t know what to write. Who is responsible for the attrocious defensive play that resulted in yet another heart-breaking loss, this time at the hands of the Washington Redskins?

Generally, I would put that decision in the hands of management. I’m not the guy who determines who plays and who doesn’t play, I’m not paying anyone’s paycheque, my annual fieldpass subscription aside. I have my opinions as to who has played well and who has not played well, but as I said, I will defer to the experts who hold the clipboards, parse videotape, know what people are supposed to be doing, and get to make these decisions.

That said, those people have said that they accept the blame for this debacle. I refuse to follow my initial instinct and see it as the coaches throwing themselves on the grenade of scrutiny. If Gary Kubiak accepts the blame for the urine-poor play of the team, then he’s to blame. I’m still going to think that Ceandris Brown, Thomas “Big Yards” Johnson, Mario Williams, Morlon Greenwood and various others on the defense need to step it up big-time, but I don’t blame them for the loss.

That falls squarely on the coaches. If they are not properly preparing the players to play, which is basically what they’ve been saying, then they need to change their approach. If they can’t get the team ready to play, then they should be replaced.

I realize that replacing the coaching staff mid-season in their first year is not realistic, it’s harsh and it’s unfair. And I’m not going to carve Kubiak’s name into a piece of pink soap, but Kubiak himself has said that he’s failing. I’m not going to blame the players that this coaching staff thought were good enough to play. If they’re not good enough, they shouldn’t have made the team. And I refuse to believe that this team is so across-the-board bad that setting bad yardage records is, not only in reach, but seeming like an inevitability.

If the players are not good enough to play, Kubiak should not be taking the blame for preparedness, and I don’t think he would. In my opinion, it looks bad on him (not that anything in an 0-3 start with 450+ yards against/game would look good) but it’s not classy, it’s arrogant, to think that he’s bulletproof enough to be able to take the blame and keep going.

Enough with the negativity.

THE GOOD
David Carr continued to improve, in my opinion. Despite what sounded like heavy pressure, he was sacked only once, and threw what sounded like a pressure interception. (Andre Ware said, anyway, that he didn’t have room to step up)
Shantee Orr could have had a defensive score.
Glenn Earl continued his goal-line stalking ways. He was an overturned call away from another turnover in the red-zone. (That puts him at 1 with 2 taken away) He’s starting to emerge as more than a solid starter, I think. People who have seen the games can feel free to disagree, of course.
Andre Johnson had a MONSTER game. It’s nice to see him doing what he’s supposed to be doing. He sounds like a man among boys, as it should be.
Mark Bruener got ANOTHER touchdown catch. I like that. Not quite as much as I would like to see Joppru in there, but it’s not like Jop would have gotten more points for the touchdowns.
Did anyone other than Dunta Robinson make a tackle in the second half? I swear, that guy was all over the field. Looks like he was embarrassed by his effort in the week before.

THE BAD
Thomas Johnson. Did this guy get cut? I don’t like him. I hear he has good work-ethic but COME ON! We lost six points and probably gave up a scoring drive on two of his antics. I’m tired of him.
22/22 – Can’t we get an incompletion? Can’t we hit him as he’s throwing to knock it off-line? GOOD GOD, DEFENSE, yell while he’s throwing, at least!
30-yard draw-play. I have no way of telling whose fault this was by the play-by-play on the radio, so I choose to blame EVERYONE.
91,74,82,70 – these were the drives that resulted in touchdowns. Make a freaking stop. We don’t need 3-and-out every time, but what about 5-and-out, 8-and-out, something?!

I think Houston can beat Miami on Sunday. Whether they will or not, I’m not sure. I’ll be there, though, listening, loving it, and hoping for Houston.

GO TEXANS!

Week 2 vs. the Colts (or – This Sh!t’s Getting Old, Fast)

What can I say about week 2 of the NFL season? Well, I missed the start of the game. I was outside with my son, kicking a soccer ball.

When I got inside I kinda wished I hadn’t. It was 14-0 before I sat down and as I started the NFL Fieldpass radio, I heard Wali Lundy fumble the ball. Would we see the same uninspired football we’ve come to know and expect when the Texans were down big against a powerhouse?

Kinda.

It was nice to see the offense keep on trying. I understand that the majority of the offense came against a prevent defense, and that the team had basically no chance, coming back against the Colts after basically handing them a bunch of points, but I was encouraged that Johnson, Moulds, Daniels, Bruener and especially Carr went out there in the fourth quarter, down by a bunch, and didn’t hang their heads. The defense, however, should be ashamed of what happened to them.

With that in mind (and keeping in mind that I know only what I heard on the radio):

Positives:
Pressure on the quarterback. It sounded like there was a lot more activity in the backfield.
Weaver against the run. I heard a couple of times when he had the runner for a loss.
Travis Johnson. All I heard from the radio guys was positive about him. Maybe it wasn’t a blown pick after all. (Time will tell)
Glen Earl. Two drive-killing plays in one drive. He can’t help that there was a penalty on his INT.
Samkon Gado. I know, this is a reach, but it sounded like he was comfortable back there and he knew where to be. Pretty good for a first game.
David Carr. (just wait… just wait) Four incompletions in a game, three touchdowns and no interceptions. Sure, it was in garbage time, but it happened. That cannot be denied. It sounded like he was making some throws down the field (the touchdown to Daniels sticks out) and when he didn’t have time, he was making the right decisions.
Playcalling in the 4th quarter. Again, it was against a defense trying not to lose, but the playcalling was aggressive, it got the team down the field and put points on the board.

Negatives:
Defensive coverage. I know, nobody can cover Peyton Manning teams. That’s not an excuse. 400 yards, 43 points. That’s just disgusting. These guys should hang their heads in shame (after the game, of course).
CC Brown. What the hell, buddy? Where’s the ball going? Where are you going? How the heck can you defend the pass when you’re five yards off the line of scrimmage? It just seemed like he had his head turned the wrong way all game.
Dunta Robinson. I don’t like to think that he would give up on a play, but it sounds like he did. Grow up, Dunta. Sure, you have to trust your teammates, but that’s no reason to give up when things don’t go right.
Charles Spencer. I’m not saying he didn’t play well. We lost him for the season. We have the worst offensive line in the league and we just lost the most important part of our line. I don’t know what else to say about that.
Ron Dayne. Nice job, sh!thead. I’m just kidding. He apparently ran pretty hard. He just ran at the wrong guy. (For those who don’t know, he put Spencer out for the year by breaking his leg)
Wali Lundy. I guess my expectations were just way too high for this guy. He was a sixth round pick. What was I expecting? Mike Anderson? And that fumble was just a killer.
David Carr. (That’s right) 3 fumbles in a game is unacceptable. I don’t care how they came, I don’t care what the situation is. You can’t spot a team like that Colts any points.
Playcalling through the rest of the game. 14 pass attempts through three quarters, when you're down by 14 before you can blink is just unacceptable. Granted, I understand the need to keep Peyton Manning off the field, but you have to do something to keep up with them, especially when you're down. If you can't run the ball (and all accounts I've looked at show me they couldn't), air it out, and let some things happen.

I guess what’s next is the Washington Redskins, but it seems like the Texans are their own worst enemy right now. I know it’s a cliché, but they have to stop fighting the ball. I would like to see them calm down and actually play the game.

If what has happened continues, Santana Moss is going to have a field day against the Texans. I can only hope they come out and play well, win or lose, for the whole game.

GO TEXANS.

Week 1 vs. Philadelphia Eagles

My thoughts from listening to the game on FieldPass:

1. The Zone Blocking system is designed to open up cutback lanes and give the RB some room to make a play or two. I didn’t hear a single time where that was open. One of the backs found some room with a toss, but that was about it. Obviously, Philadelphia knew what to expect and J. Johnson found a way to counter it with defensive-line gap-discipline. His line also sounded like it was a lot better than Sherman’s.
2. It sounded like Carr had a good grasp of the offense and what Kubiak wanted him to do. There were some cases where he was waiting and waiting, but they were less than I would have thought. This gives me some cause for optimism. He had some brain farts around the goal-line and the results were very last-year-esque (tackle for loss, sack, sack). So that’s something to work on.
3. Eric Moulds and Andre Johnson are awesome! What a combination. And as the running game gets it together, these two are going to bust out huge.
4. I didn’t hear Joppru’s name at all. (Looking at NFL.com’s gamecenter confirms it). I’m sure he played special teams, but it would have been nice to see him get a few reps.
5. Why in the world was Lewis Sanders on the one Philadelphia Eagles receiver that did anything long? Granted, one of those long completions was said to be over Dunta, but McNabb and Reid saw something, obviously, and exploited it all day, with Sanders bringing up the rear constantly.
6. In the first half, Houston’s radio sideline reporter said that Mario wasn’t getting pressure by himself, but that there was a lot more activity than before. I don’t know what that means, but it sounds impressive, I guess. I heard a play where Babin and Peek met McNabb in the backfield and McNabb had to throw an incomplete pass. It’s nice to hear, but whenever they used the playaction (who the heck should Philadelphia’s play-action fool?) McNabb had all day to throw. That sounds like a case of too much thinking and not enough single-minded devotion to the elimination of an opposing quarterback.
7. Five sacks. That’s way too much for this offense to be giving up. I refuse to accept that protection continues to be this big a problem. However, as long as it does, and Carr doesn’t respond to blitzing with long completions and scores, opposing teams will continue to blitz and get gaudy sack numbers.
8. I was excited about how our team played early on and I look forward to more play like that.
9. GO TEXANS!

A Change in the Wind

A couple of questions: How much do the events of our youth affect us? I’m not talking about the day it was cold and someone made you walk to school. I’m talking about the jarring, I’ve-been-kicked-in-the-stomach-type things that change your perception of life and family.
How much should we let these things continue to affect us, half a lifetime removed from when they actually happened?
Is it reasonable to hope that things will get better by themselves, or is it best to poke at a problem to let some air out?
What happens when the cover falls off? Generally all hell breaks loose.

To make a long story short, I had a fight picked with me, then I was baited into a second fight. I fought back and knocked the cover off a fifteen-year-old secret that’s helped to shape the second half of my life. I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Angry Liam? There is no Angry Liam.

At Least the Milkshake was Tasty

I was making milkshakes for dessert when Kim calls into the kitchen, "What happened?"

I'd heard a small [crump] but I didn't pay it any mind, amid the whinings of an out-of-sorts Lillian and the incoherent babblings of everyday Nicholas. I joined her at the picture window and we saw a white car, stopped in the middle of the road.

Kim explained that she'd watched the car driving down the road and heard the noise. I slipped into my shoes and scurried outside to see if there was anything I could do.

A car was stopped at the entrance to the condo complex, facing outward. A man was walking toward the white car, which now had a hood bent up like an A.

Being a "first-aider", I assessed the situation and noticed that everyone was okay. It was pretty obvious what happened, but the guy who had been leaving the condo explained it to me anyway.

"It was slippery and I couldn't stop. Man, I hope she doesn't go to the cops." I was in no position to comment on that and I suggested that the woman, who was pretty shaken-up, pull her car over to the side of the road. Fortunately, it was still driveable, and she did as I suggested.

I wasn't going to go anywhere, since this guy was taller than I was, and the lady was a small Asian woman. I didn't think the guy would try to do anything but I wanted to make sure.

I suggested he go and get his insurance papers and he ran off to his car to get them. They weren't there. He drove off as I noted his license plate number in case he didn't come back.

While he was gone, I asked the lady if she had a pen and paper. She was still pretty shaken-up, and I offered to write the information down for her. I did, she told the guy she wouldn't go to the police and everyone left, if not happy, then satisfied. About the time that I finished writing the insurance information, I realized that I hadn't put my coat on. Or my touque.

I went inside and enjoyed my milkshake and now you have this delightful story to read.

The end.